So, you may look at this photo and think: “I don’t get it. I am not one of those people who ‘do policy’.” Well I am here to tell you that the some of the same principles behind the wage gap are also behind why there may be a perceived imbalance in housework.
The conversation started when Collette Martin of Forbes.com recently wrote the aptly titled: Think We’ve Cracked the Code on Gender Salary Equality in the Workplace? Think Again. Bottom line: Women right out of college are making 17 percent less than men right out of college. In addition to teaching women around the world, I teach college women so was interviewed for the article.
Contributor Jenna Goudreau posted a thought-provoking comment which I will summarize as: Why is the onus on women to do all the work to bridge the wage gap?
1. Systemic approaches – My go to: Women Impacting Public Policy (@WIPPWeDecide). While I don’t know Jenna personally (but plan to) I think she is hinting at something wise which is a systemic approach. In business we call this “economies of scale.” It’s why membership organizations exist, essentially, to kind of gang-up and get what they want. That is not the nicest way of saying it, but essentially true. Look at AARP, for instance. I used to work in the aging industry. They pack a punch just due to their size and make folks listen. One idea is – if this issue bothers you (and it should) – decide what organization you want to be a part of. Are they fighting for what matters to you? Pick one, join, give them some money, go to an event, Tweet about them.
My go-to organization on this is WIPP: Women Impacting Public Policy. They are smart. They do good work. They fight for issues that matter to women and they make progress. Recently, for example, they were instrumental in the passage of legislation that mandates five percent federal contracting set asides for women-owned businesses. Right there, that’s going to help with deposits into somebody’s bank account.
2. Entrepreneurial Approach – Go-to move: ASK. Women Don’t Ask by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever is a MUST READ for ALL WOMEN prior to their first salary negotiation. The authors share with us that men negotiate starting salaries four times more often than women. FOUR TIMES (4 x!!) MORE OFTEN THAN WOMEN! The way this exponentially plays out over time is nothing short of shocking. This is flat-out our responsibility as women.
No white knight here ladies. We ask less, and we must ask more. It shows up everywhere from our salary to who does the dishes. It’s not going to 100% solve the problem, but it’s going to put a good dent in it. P.s. If you really build up an expertise in this, you may instantly metamorphasize into a highly attractive and 50/50 balanced couple from the Netherlands, like this:
3. Build Confidence Around Negotiation – Go-to move: The Godfather of Self-Confidence/Self-Efficacy. The ways to build confidence around a given area are demonstrated by famed psychologist Dr. Alfred Bandura. He is the fourth most cited psychologist behind Piaget, Freud, Skinner. Measurement around this has gotten very technical, but, it’s part of what I weave into what I teach women to measurably improve their self confidence. Polls we’ve done show self-confidence is viewed as the most important thing for the next generation to learn. But, er, like, where do we learn it. And how? Here is a quick fix, Bandura-style (focus = self confidence in negotiation and asking):
- Mastery experiences (so practice),
- Modeling (so find mentors / role models),
- Social Persuasion (so make sure those folks say nice things to you), and
- Psychological Perceptions (so get a grip if you’re freaked about negotiation).
What are your fears or successes with salary negotiation, or asking for what you want or need? Please share and help others.
Or, if this post made you think – in general – please leave a comment below.
Related posts:
- FIGHT – What are you willing to fight for ladies?
- VALUE YOURSELF – Do you know what you’re worth?
- WOMEN, MONEY, and POWER – Are you victor, or victim, in your relationship with money?
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ABOUT: The award-winning Hot Mommas Project is housed at the George Washington University School of Business, CFEE. On January 31 of 2010, the project became the world’s largest women’s case study library providing free, online, global access to stories of female role models and mentors. The result? Measurable increases in self-confidence among women age 18 and older. Get on our mailing list for upcoming seminars by emailing us (periodic updates, no digital harassment).
Terrific insignts here, and very empowering. I’d add that, from my experience and research as a women’s career and executive coach, what is needed to support professional women in navigating through necessary changes in behavior and thinking is ongoing, hands-on help. Women need in the trenches, in the moment career growth support that helps them address these challenges in new ways, and in real-time, not hypothetically or conceptually.
I’m committed to offering this type of help, and believe that if the Fortune 1000 corporations and more U.S. employers offered this type of ongoing support to their female talent, then professional life for women would change more quickly and substantively than ever before.
Please do check out my Career Enhancement Programs for Corporate Women (http://www.elliacommunications.com/coaching-services/#Career_Enhancement), and ask your employers to bring this yearlong program, or something like it, to your organization today. It’s hands-on, real-time, real-life support working women need now — less discussion and more action. Thanks!
People who gravitate naturally toward situation specific advice and support are following the second and third golden rules of famed social psychologist, Alfred Bandura, above. The Hot Mommas Project has strung aspects of this through our teaching techniques both in and out of GW to produce measurable increases in self confidence (really – self-efficacy but this is a psychology term). Without self-efficacy we self-limit. Guys don’t do this. Guys say ‘Hey, let’s try this – whatever.” Women go, “Hmmmmm, do I have what it takes? Should I do this?” And will stop themselves from seizing an opportunity, engaging in a negotiation, or other such behaviors before even taking one step. There are also some complicated female relationship things here which are for another blog post (check out @DrLouann on this stuff if interested.)
Hope this is making some sense, as I am transitioning to decaf!
Wuv,
Kathy
Kathy:
Great article! Another avenue to change is to harness the power of consumer spending via http://www.FemaleEqualityMatters.com – the “No Glass Ceiling” Brand/Certification (c). Women control 85% of consumer spending- once we direct towards organizations that have proven they value women, things will change quickly!
Yes, true, we have a great deal of economic power. Women influence 80 to 85 percent of household purchasing decisions (whether you work, or not!). So, holding the purse strings is power. Did you also know that around the world investing in women entrepreneurs is used as an economic strategy? That’s right. We raise the GDP of countries in which we reside because of how we spend our earnings (family, community). Last, I’ll leave you with a couple other zingers: We inherit everything. We live longer – so, good or bad – take the initiative ladies with the money. Negotiating, asking, whatever you want to call it…begin to take command and get the house in order …it will be your house! Last, companies that promote women to executive positions (Catalyst shows us among large, public companies) are more profitable across every measure. WOMEN ARE MONEY. . So, be comfortable and confident in your power, women, and ASK. Don’t squander your power. Use your power for good!
Two tweets on @AAUW good discussion starters. To me, the below say that women should continue asking, but, in organizations with long-established pay grades – a large, cumulative ask may be in order (see second tweet).
@AAUW
On how to encourage wmn to negotiate salary “we need to change the workplace, not the women.” #AAUW11
18 Jun
AAUW AAUW
Women’s salaries in academia are about 80% of men’s since the 1970s #AAUW11
18 Jun
The Wal Mart case was thrown out today as a class action. A timely topic for this salary negotiation post. For some, the answer to a negotiation attempt is “no.” When it’s taken to a higher level, and the answer is still “no” – what is the next step?
@AAUW RT@AmandaMichelle decision means women cnt proceed as class action, but vow 2 cont the fight individually. C vid at http://cs.pn/j8hRaD.
@AAUW RT @Scitable: bit.ly/kVzAH2 What do you think about WalMart’s Class Action being Rejected by SCOTUS? Take our poll.
Great post – love the question “Why is the onus on women to close the pay gap?” One caveat, there’s a good amount of research that shows that women don’t “ask” because at least subconsciously they are aware that stereotypes about women backfire on them if they do. “Asking” results in negative perceptions about a woman in ways it does not for a man. http://wp.me/pBswT-nc That doesn’t mean women shouldn’t ask, just that we should realize that women are responding rationally to the cultural norms when the don’t ask.
Kristin Maschka
Kristin – this one is a real tail chaser. Here goes.
1. Women are, yes, subjected to unfair expectations. We’re expected to be nice. Men are allowed to practically tackle each other. Oh, wait, they DO tackle each other. All we can to is bow to the God who is Prof Deborah Tannen and pray for guidance. It’s a tricky one to navigate. http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/book_you_just_dont.html
Here’s a POWER PLAY SERIES I wrote on it. We talk about this constantly in class.
http://hotmommasproject.wordpress.com/2010/12/04/4-power-plays-for-women-strong-communication/
2. The other part of the puzzle here is that we CARE. We actually CARE if someone doesn’t like us. Think about it. If a man called another man an a**h**le, you wouldn’t find it coming up on message boards: “You know, when I ask for a salary increase, everyone calls me an a**h**le!” Why do we care so much? Dr. Louann Brizendine (www.twitter.com/DrLouann) in her best-seller “The Female Brain” tells us that – neurologically – the female brain prizes RELATIONSHIPS above all else. Ack! That kind of stinks for having conversations that could turn out badly. So, is it better to avoid all situations where the conversation could turn out badly? We have to consider whether we do this.
I am wondering what situations will come up, when women are talking about lipsticks and pedicures at meetings…and it’s no longer about golf and the NBA Final Four…what the blog comments will say then?What will be unfair then!? It will be interesting. The truth is, I don’t know if we’ll ever make men feel as uncomfortable as we’ve been made to feel. Women have always been more adaptable and hospitable…throughout time – we’ve had to be. I think we’ve got this one girls. I think we can adapt, and ask, and communicate, and do it in a way that feels right. I have faith in us.
Kathy,
I addressed the question of “Why is the onus on women to close the pay gap?” in a Feb. 2010 post: http://ht.ly/5nFPJ calling out Clay Shirky on his rant about women not speaking up for themselves and it remains a subject that makes my blood boil.
There are so many variables at play in this issue. First, I have the need to say, not all men are strong at negotiating and some men, particularly as they age, are afraid to push for raises or promotions because of fear of being let go and because of their age will have difficulty finding another job.
When we see the press skewer women such as Hillary Clinton or Carly Fiorina for speaking up, for being strong and tough it is still clear what the attitude toward women is who speak up. Kristen, previous comment, refers to negative perceptions of women asking for things, and I agree we still need to ask but it doesn’t, ipso facto mean we’ll get what we ask for. I think as I said in my 2/10 post that in large part this is blaming the victim, which is a smart move for those who don’t want the system to change.
I could go on and on. I’ll save it for a guest post. Cherry
This is a fantastic discussion. I just LOVE it and suggest everyone dig in, and read your post, and get in there. I hear you on ageism. That is a H.N.T. (Hole, Nother, Topic – but similar). The “blaming the victim” thing is actually a great point. Because, what I do in my class is give women tools, encourage them, tell them they can do it. All the steps in #3, above. They work, and we’ve measured them. But, if someone is – pardon my crassness – just being a wanker, and not giving someone what they deserve and 1. They DO deserve it and 2. That deservedeness (is this a word?) has been made clear, then it is time to part ways.
This is trickier than it sounds. Parting of ways, for some, mainly means taking a new direction. A la the Wal Mart case some of us may have been following in the news. I mean, that’s a LOT of women who were involved in that case. Wal Mart may have been THE big employer in town. They didn’t have a lot of other options. What to do? They banded together and tried to get Wal Mart to listen.
When there are options, women are taking them. Women having been starting business in record numbers since 2002. This is “parallel institutionalism” – the insitution we’re in ain’t so hot, so, we build a parallel one.
Will the Supreme Court throwing out the class action Wal Mart case spawn a ton of e Bay entrepreneurs in Wal Mart towns across America? Only time will tell.
I just graduated from GW and accepted my first job out of college at GE. After I received my job offer, I read about the wage gap between men and women right out of college. I immediately realized “I didn’t negotiate my salary…”
The idea of calling the hiring manager and asking him about the salary seemed like a bad idea. Who am I to ask for more money in this economy? Instead, I reached out to a young woman who I met through GE (she’s in the program I am entering) and I asked her about the starting salary. It turns out that everyone in the program I’m joining at GE receives the same starting salary across the country regardless of location, experience, and, thankfully, gender.
I’ve talked with other recent grads about the issue of “asking.” My advice to people, instead of saying “I’d like a higher salary,” start the conversation off with “is my salary negotiable?” If they say no, you can walk away knowing that you asked, and if they say yes, they clearly know that you want to have a conversation about increasing your pay.
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