#2 Power Plays for Women: BALANCE

By Kathy Korman Frey, this is part of the Power Plays series

For many women, “balance” seems like the Holy Grail. And, no, not the funny type like in Monty Python.

Why do we fight so hard for balance? Well, first of all, women who are balanced have higher perceptions of success (Source: Hot Mommas Project national survey).  This post is going to share some of those  “master balancer”  secrets with you.

It’s Not You, It’s Them: Facts about Balance

First, let’s arm you with some facts.

• #1. Family policies in the US stink. We’re known globally for stinky family policies among developed countries. We have the Family Medical Leave Act, and that’s about it.

• #2. Women are more educated. In addition to occupying half the work force, women receive about 60% or so of the masters degrees in this country. We now also earn the majority of PhDs too.

• #3.  Women bear 2/3 of caregiving responsibilities. This is a pretty conservative number, and it is probably more like ¾. But, whether it’s for an older relative or child, women still do the majority of it.

So, we’re running out of room here on our day planners. Right? At least until cloning is perfected.  So what’s the solution?

Solutions Run-Down

Stop the cycle. What do master balancers have that we don’t? First, they have halted a vicious cycle. We must recognize the toxic ramifications of the battle for balance. When we feel out of control, we don’t progress with our goals and priorities.  Here’s the cycle: Loss of control, followed by lack of progress, followed by loss of self-confidence.

Take back power. But, how? How do we stop the cycle? Master balancers have  something very special: Perspective. We must take back power that “balance” has over us.  Department of Commerce Deputy Secretary and former Disney Executive Dennis Hightower said the following in the General Management class he taught at Harvard Business School:

“A great manager must be able to make decisions with between 40 and 70 percent information.”

The sure-fire loser’s strategy. Going for perfection – the 100 percent – is the loser’s strategy. Paralyzed by the need for more information, the “100-percenter”  can’t make the call, stand behind it, and move forward. It’s quicksand. After speaking with, teaching, and researching thousands of women of all ages I see the quicksand pattern surfacing among women striving to balance. We’re going for perfection, versus the 40 to 70 percent. It’s a losing battle.

Reality Check Questions

Master balancers have an incredible ability to prioritize. They prioritize based on their OWN values and definition of success, NOT someone else’s.  Here are some test questions we can ask in our daily lives to sharpen the pencil when it comes to looking at and valuing our time, and ourselves:

Self-Exploration Questions

1. Can I adopt Hightower’s 40 to 70% rule? Why or why not?
2. Am I going for “perfection”? What is the impact on me, my inner circle, others? Is it worth it?
3. Am I living by my own definition of success, or some other definition?
4. Am I clear on my priorities? (Trigger question: Has my “flexibility” devolved into  “aimlessness / lack of goals”?)
5. If I had no restrictions, my dream professionally would be ___________. My dream personally would be ___________.
6. Who are two people I know who seem balanced and happy?  Would I reach out to them to discuss their perspectives and strategies? Why or why not?

Daily Questions (when considering tasks)

1. What top three things do I need to be focusing on right now? Is this one of those things?
2. What are the ramifications if I perform this task? What are the ramifications if I do not? Is doing nothing an option?
3. Will I feel proud of myself if I complete this task?
4. What are my “guilty pleasures” or quick-win “busy work” tasks which are not the most productive, but are fun for me?  Can I schedule a time at the end of each day for these tasks and limit myself to that time?

What are your thoughts on balance? If this post has inspired or helped you, please be so kind as to leave a comment.

*****

Related posts:

• View all posts in the Power Play series

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