STRONG COMMUNICATION for WOMEN
Think you’re a strong communicator? Not sure and want to improve? Take this quiz:
1. Do you say “I think” or “I feel” in your sentences?
2. Do you allow others to interrupt you?
3. Do you fail to take credit for your work in a group professional or academic setting?
Being aware – the first step. If you are guilty of one or more of these communication “weakeners,” keep reading. Don’t worry, however, being aware is the first step. Here is an exercise we do in my Women’s Entrepreneurial Leadership class at the George Washington University School of Business:
An Exercise. Go out about your business and, for one day, make note of how many times you engage in a specific communication weakener: I think, I feel, collusion (collusion = Letting others interrupt, not taking credit, in business/class contexts).
Why is this important? You don’t ask, you don’t get. Aside from assertive communication, there are numbers: Men ask for what they want and initiate negotiations 2-3X more often than women. Think this doesn’t have an eensy something to do with the wage gap? I do.
Your role. We teach entrepreneurial skills in my class. So, the first question is: What can YOU do to better your situation, starting with how you communicate?
This is information directly from PowerPoints in the Women’s Entrepreneurial Leadership class developed by the amazing Dr. Susan Duffy (now at Simmons) and altered by moi.
Additional links:
GW Today Facebook page, where this conversation about communication started
Dr. Deborah Tannen, guru of gender communications
What’s most important for young women to learn? Scroll down to see poll results.
GWSB Women’s Entrepreneurial Leadership class blog – follow along during the year.
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This is an important topic. We indirectly teach our girls this deferred form of speech. It’s critical to consciously unteach it.
So true. I even do it, and I teach this stuff! Thanks Shanyna.
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Great points. Another pet peeve of mine is that many women preface their questions or comments in groups setting with “Maybe I’m being stupid, but…” or “I’m not an expert, but…”
By and large I don’t see men doing this, even when they are remarking on something that is far outside of their area of expertise.
Best,
TMB
You are 100% on target. This is a type of weakener or qualifier. What if your natural inclination was to say, “I’m on my way out the door to dominate the world, but here’s a quick thought.” Then, just saying the thought straight out would seem like a great compromise! Thanks Mama.
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