The irony of being underestimated. Part of it stinks, and part of it is just – so – DE-Licious. Have you ever been underestimated? What are your techniques for handling it?
Take, for instance, the tale of Leigh Macdonald who is a lawyer gone blogger. She’s successfully represented the government in some of the biggest land use cases in Florida.
But…and…I mean, look at her:
No, you cannot put her in your purse and take her home. Well that is all a woefully misinformed opposing counsel thought when he walked into court and saw her one fine morning. Her tale goes something like this: Let him think she was “Lawyer Barbie,” and then hand him his tuchus on a plate. The transition from head-patting to “uh oh” is just hilarious! Read her post here.
Mind you, I am not a vindictive person. But, I do get a giggle of delight when people underestimate others. I remember the CEO of a major government contractor saying at a dinner party one night, “Oh, I thought Kathy (me) was ditzy, and then I found out she went to Harvard Business School!” Er, thanks…I think. It comes from all angles, people.
Another great one: My mom is a cute little blonde who at one point managed multiple millions, and possibly billions, in a real-estate portfolio and acquisitions. She used to walk in with her hand extended and say “I’m the one with whom you’ll be negotiating” because people would always look about a foot too high, toward a co-worker who was her junior.
Takeaways: These stories all convey an underlying theme – qualifications. Part of being underestimated, is that there is something to underestimate. What are your key skills and talents? Inventory them, and value them. But the ultimate definition of “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is here, today, with Leigh Macdonald’s (@NiceShuzNoDrama) Lawyer Barbie Story! She didn’t just fend off a negative assumption about her skills and intellect, she turned that negative assumption into a leverage point for success!
Have you been underestimated? Someone you know? Please share! It’s just too DE-Licious not to!
Related links:
Attractive women overlooked for certain jobs? Reuters
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This is a topic I’ve thought about often. As a woman of South Asian descent, I have sometimes felt excluded from certain informal groups. Oddly enough, it’s been mostly from women who can be terribly cliquey….even grown-up gals! I don’t think it’s conscious – I think some people are so accustomed to what’s familiar to them and if, by the way you look, you don’t quite fit that visual model….well, it becomes a lot harder to penetrate that group’s inner sanctum. So what do I do? I try to have actual conversation with as many people as a I can so they can feel the value of who I am and what I am capable of. It can be draining at times because I feel like I have to double up the energy to prove myself, but when a meeting goes successfully, it’s actually more satisfying in the end.
And for what’s it’s worth Kathy….you’re so NOT a ditz! You are, however, a great “new vibe” for a Harvard MBA chick. You are incredibly down to earth and have a zaney sense of humour. All combined, you are a breath of fresh air!
Ha! Thanks. Yes, well, that is probably the only time I was called a ditz (to my face). Thanks for the shout out. On cliques…that is interesting. You’re right. What we come from and our assumptions can act as a prison. I remember the head of P&G Global marketing saying one time that diversity is critical to them because they look at homogeneity as a prison of one view. (or something like this). This does fit into diversity, and typing, across multiple levels.
Great article. When you have the qualifications – and it’s not necessarily book knowledge (altho this is something I probably spend too much time on), it shouldn’t matter what you look like. And, I believe you can be assertive, intentional, and nice as a leader. Being in my late 50’s this is an issue for me as well, but from an ageism perspective.
Going Strong and Won’t Be Quitting Soon!
Warmly, Georgia
True. It shouldn’t matter what we look like. But, as women’s communication expert Dr Deborah Tannen notes: Women are scrutinized more than men on their appearance.
Jill – a city council member in Ohio – tells us on Twitter she loves this story. Thanks Jill!
From: @Jillmz
Sent: Oct 24, 2010 3:05p
RT @ChiefHotMomma: Lawyer Barbie sticks it to ’em http://ad.vu/4pna @NiceShuzNoDrama //great points! I luv being underestimated!
sent via ÜberTwitter
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/Jillmz/status/28620261427
Just wanted to say that I love this post!
I live in New York City and used to work for a very high-powered consulting agency. I can’t tell you how many times I would be passed over or underestimated in initial meetings with clients, merely because of my appearance.
On the other hand, though, I loved going out and meeting some smartass banker or accountant guy who was sure he’d knock me dead with his impressive-sounding title. “And what do you do?” he’d croon, expecting something appropriately beneath him. The look on his face when I named the company was usually enough to keep me chuckling all night — though I never quite got over the persistence of the underestimating, or the feeling that as I moved into a less name-recognizable company I had to fight twice as hard to be taken seriously.
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