In posts one and two of this series, the importance of mentoring is discussed. In this third part, we discuss HOW to find a mentor and ways to integrate it into your life in 5 MINUTES. If you want to change a life in 5 MINUTES, keep reading. If you’ve thought it might be about time to pay it forward, but weren’t sure how, keep reading. If you want to take pride in contributing to the success of another, and gain a feeling of accomplishment for yourself, keep reading.
My hypothesis: This is THE way women will be successful. We can do everything else, but if we don’t mentor and support each other – AGGRESSIVELY, PURPOSEFULLY, TOGETHER – we will not and cannot be truly successful.
See first post
See second post.
How to find a mentor:
There are two basic types of mentorship these days: Mentors you pay for, and mentors that are free.
Mentors you pay for: The inner desire for mentorship and support is a likely driver behind the exponential growth in the coaching industry. As Master Certified coach Michele Woodward says, “Many of my clients want someone who has experience, and whom they can trust.”
- How to find a coach: Get referrals from trusted and successful business executives with whom you identify personally, professionally, or both as there is currently no undisputed queen/king of certification.
Mentors that are free: In searching for what we traditionally consider a “mentor,” take the following steps:
- Commit. You must decide having a mentor is going to be one of the top three things you want to do for yourself, and for women, this year.
- Personal Board of Advisors. Imagine a table that is your personal board of advisors. You might have one tech advisor, one fundraising advisor, one work-life balance advisor, one book-writing advisor. To start with, the table should have between five and 10 seats. Each seat should correspond to an area about which you’d like to learn, or are seeking support and advice.
- Find. If you know people who could fill these seats, email or call them and ask if they have time for coffee. Tell them you’re working through a Guerilla Mentoring check-list and would like to ask their advice on a specific area. For those you don’t know, set up Google alerts with the category name (e.g., “Fundraising” and other relevant terms like your geographic location and maybe a word like “executive” or “leader” or “innovator.”)
- Meet.Set up a meeting with your mentor. Use a “mentor template” which has the following four components:
- Objective of meeting
- Space for notes
- Your reactions (which you will share at the conclusion of the meeting with the mentor). What have you learned?
- Follow up. Your strategy for follow-up. Follow-up can range from asking, “Can I contact you for any additional questions?” to agreeing on your next meeting date. Make a note to follow up with the mentor two times after the meeting: Once to thank them the day of or day after, and a second time to share with the mentor how their feedback has impacted your life or work.
While there are more formal and structured processes I use in educational settings, including peer-group mentoring, the above steps are simple and doable for anyone with an hour, a computer and phone, and some social skills and graciousness.
How to be a mentor, 54 Guerrilla Mentoring Ideas
For every Personal Board of Advisors seat you fill, make a commitment to mentor another. Here are some quick on how to make a difference in someone’s life and career in five minutes (Note: Coming soon – Toolkits are available to members at HotMommasProject.com – for information on membership, email us. To take a mentoring seminar, click here. ):
Guerrilla Mentoring – General – The basic vanilla 5 minute template
1. Ask someone about their dreams, goals, or a current challenge.
2. If they don’t know, talk to them about their likes, dislikes, or passion.
3. If they think they can’t, ask why?
4. Ask them if there is a babystep they could take?
5. Call, email, text, Tweet, or Facebook someone, did they take the babystep?
6. If not, why not? If so, are there other babysteps they could take?
7. Repeat 1 through 6.
8. Use Your Tool Kit: The Mentor Template (again, coming soon: Toolkits available to members at HotMommasProject.org)
Social – Guerrilla Mentoring
9. Turn one session of your book club/cooking club/playdate into a mentoring group (use general template, above).
10. Turn a lunch or coffee into a guerilla mentoring session.
11. Turn a social lunch into a guerilla mentoring
12. End a social gathering with 30 seconds each of “what I need” and “what I can offer.”
14. Your Tool Kit: The Mentor Template
Home – Guerrilla Mentoring
14. Help your kid with their homework or volunteer to speak in your child’s class.
16. Turn a family meeting into a Guerilla Mentoring session (see “General” above).
17. Write a story about mentoring, read it to your kids.
18. Ask your spouse/partner how you can support them in achieving their goals and dreams.
19. Use Your Tool Kit: Home Mentor Template
Work – Guerrilla Mentoring
20. Participate in a mentoring program at work.
21. If there is no program, think about starting one. Do monthly one-on-one lunches to start.
23. Take a boss or co-worker to lunch, ask question #1.
24. Give a mentee access to your staff, co-workers.
25. End a meeting with a Guerilla Mentoring session-30 seconds each of “what I need to achieve my dreams/goals” and “what I can offer/how can I help.”
26. Use Your Tool Kit: The Work Mentor Template
Education / Community – Guerrilla Mentoring
27. Contact your university, do they have a mentoring program?
28. Call a school or local leadership group near you (DECA, FBLA, JA, NFTE, Boys and Girls Club, Girl Scouts, 4H, SCORE), near you, ask if they need mentors or speakers.
29. Contact a student case writer at www.HotMommasProject.org, ask how you can support them.
30. Judge a business plan contest.
31. Gals – Over 18? Write your personal/professional lessons at www.HotMommasProject.org.
32. Guys – Write your personal/professional lessons at www.CoolDaddiesProject.org (Guys, for now this is HotMommasProject.org and check the “Cool Daddies” box when entering your profile).
33. Use Your Tool Kit: The Education Mentor Toolkit
Blogosphere – Guerrilla Mentoring
34. Get to know random people online in your niche, see how you can help them.
35. Join a common interest group or alumni group online.
36 Write about your mentoring experience and post online.
37. Host a mentor chat session online.
36. Do a podcast with one of your mentors.
38. Find a great Q&A or profile of someone online, link to it with learning points.
39. Ask someone you have met about their dreams/goals and how you can support.
40. Ask Facebook to have a relationship status as “mentor.”
41. Use Your Toolkit: Social media mentoring guide
Partnering – Guerrilla Mentoring
42. Co-write an article or blog post together.
43. Invite someone to a networking event.
44. Work on a project together, if there isn’t one, invent it.
45. Use Your Toolkit: Partner mentoring guide
RULES of Guerrilla Mentoring
46. M – Make time -Carve out the time. Make it a priority.
47. E – Evaluate – Mentors-what lessons do you want to share? Mentees-What do you want to know?
48. N – Nudge – Approach, and don’t give up. Circle back to follow up.
49. T- Tell – Don’t tell or use shoulds, speak from experience.
50. O –Organize. Be an organizer. Translate your lessons from one, to many.
51. R – Register your Guerilla Mentoring scorecard. Log your contributions.
THE CODE
52. It’s about connecting – not using, or a transaction.
53. It’s about supporting – not forcing unwelcome advice.
54. It’s about being entrepreneurial – don’t wait for someone to approach you or the guy/gal on the white horse to ride in.
The writing is on the wall. We need mentors to be successful but WE MUST TAKE THE ACTION. We must stop telling ourselves it doesn’t matter, or we’re too busy, or we don’t know how. The future of women in business, and the success of our next generation, depends on helping each other. It is our duty. It is our call to action. It is the new sisterhood.
Seminar on the mentoring movement among women: www.sisU.eventbrite.com
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Kathy Korman Frey is an Entrepreneur in Residence at the George Washington University School of Business, Center for Entrepreneurial Excellence where she teaches the award-winning Women’s Entrepreneurial Leadership class. She is also the founder of the consulting firm Vision Forward (www.VisionForward.com). Frey is also the creator of the world’s largest women’s case study library: The Hot Mommas Project. The cutting edge, crowd-sourced online library profiles real stories of real women made teachable to serve as virtual mentors. The Hot Mommas Project is the recipient of a 2006 Coleman Foundation Case Award and has been profiled by The Washington Post Magazine, NPR, and featured in Prentice Hall textbooks. She is a featured contributor on Maria Shriver’s Women’s Conference site, the author of the NFIB Young Entrepreneur Foundation blog, and a Harvard Business School case author. She is a regular speaker on the topics of women’s leadership and education, mentorship, and work-life balance. Frey is a former board member of the Alzheimer’s Association, National Capital Area. She lives in DC with entrepreneur husband Josh Frey, their two children, Maxwell and Delilah, and dog Foxy.
www.Facebook.com/KathyKormanFrey
This is the last in a three-part series which we’re posting, excitedly, on April 27: The day before the Women and Philanthropy Forum where Hot Mommas Project 2010 Award Winners will be honored.
Awesome info! Thanks so much!
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